The Pastor's Corner

From Presents to Presence
January 1, 2004
By Rev. Todd Crofford
Sr. Pastor
Laurel Wesleyan Church

Now that the supposed “season of giving” has passed it seems many people turn to New Year’s resolutions. As quaint as they may seem, the root idea is a good one. So here’s my biggie for this year… I’m going to make sure I get enough time with my family. Sound too simple? For all of us, it may be easier said than done.

A few years ago a group of men were interviewed and asked how much time they thought they spent in meaningful conversation with their children daily. Most offered a guess of between 15-30 minutes. Then the children of these fathers were secretly “miked-up”. In reality, the study found that these typical American dads spent an average of less than 1 minute in meaningful daily dialogue with their children.

We must do better than that, and when we don’t the consequences are more severe than we imagine. For example, a study found the number one commonality of prison inmates was not social status, skin color, or education level. It was lack of the presence of a father in their lives.

Christian songwriter Michael Card shares of his experience growing up with a father who was a workaholic doctor. His dad would come home so exhausted and burdened down with the cares of work that he would walk right past his children without muttering a word and lock himself into his study for whole evenings at a time. As a little boy, Michael so longed for the attention of his father that he would get down on his hands and knees and talk to his dad under the crack of the door. Sometimes he would write love notes to his daddy or paint pictures and slide them under the door.

As adults, and particularly as men, it is easy to get overwhelmed by the “grown-up” cares of this world and the busyness of making a living. If we are not careful, even without a closed door we can inadvertently lock out the most precious people in our lives. Likely, there is a son or daughter right in your own home who would give anything for an afternoon of your attention.

Figuring out we need to do this as parents is not rocket science. Being intentional enough to make sure it happens will require specific efforts. There might be some business deals this year that will just have to go on hold in lieu of a dance recital or spelling bee. Might you choose to go to the racquetball court with your ten-year old this week even though the game might have been more engaging with your friend? Maybe Monday Night bed-time story is a wise replacement of the first quarter of Monday Night football.

Whatever you choose, there’s never been a better time than now to make a fresh start. So, here’s to 2004. Make it the best year your family has ever had.

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